"My First Blind Date"

I was anxious and could not sleep two days before it...kept on telling myself that i would handle it with ease but it was suppose to be a blind date so had no idea of what to handle...!!

the appointment was fixed.....

date-5th dec 2009

time-3:30pm

venue-TIT,Bhopal....

Till now you would have guessed what i am talking about...yes it wasn't a date exactly..but it certainly appeared so...

what all one feels while going out for a first date that too a blind one...the same i could feel...got up early in the morning...could feel the butterflies...it was some 3 months before that i last saw clock showing 7am...

got ready just as if i was going for a real date...anxious about my looks and worried about my jeans....as i wanted to be 100% comfortable..giving CAT was all about confidence...since i didnt preapred much lot of performance depended on my attitude and perseverance.

But 1 thing i did do...two days before i did mug up lot of formulas and solved number of questions...and that was probably why i was feeling solicitous ( see i did study)

reached on time and the beautiful faces did help to keep my focus away from CAT and that is what i wanted...finally i got to c its face...the first question....i was puzzeled..moved on to next...even more puzzled......... it was until 38th question that i felt a sigh of relief finally saw a question which i could solve...the day ended just as it started..puzzled

i was disappointed as my first blind date ever ..didnt go that well...i hope there are more to come but this time with some beautiful.....

yahoo...yahoo...!!

A leaf out of Phattu's notebook which i did not post in my story "say it when u lov it"

no greetings..no wishings...!!

coz i dont feel lik doing it.this may sound highly depressing n to a few utter rubbish as well..but that is my state n i cannot help it..m depressed and its been over a month i hv been feeling this and i think it is reaching its peak..

ther s not 1 reson behind this instead ther r umpteen factors responsible for such behavior of mine...

frm where shuld i begin is wht confusing..ok...next few months culd wel decide my path ahead..n m worried n tensed but not able to work for them..i want to make my next few months memorable for me..but i just cannot find the way...i want to study..but i m not able to do it...the very fact tht this s my last chance scares me...i get up late..but i want to wake up early...i go to bed late...but i want to go to bed early...i want to b sincere...but i just cannot...the bottom line..."i have lost control over myself"

i chat til late night..which i hate..but stil i do....i watch stuff which i shuld not...n i hate watching...but stil i do....everyday i promise to myself n god that i wil b a good child i wil b a good son..but everyday i break the promise..probably thts y now even God is not with me...fooled him too much...

if this is not enuf..talk abut the gal i loved so much...its been 4 months i last talked to her...n more then 6 months i last saw her...

quite a few times i ccalled her but she wont ans to my cals..neither reply to my msgs...nor reply on ne of the social sites n messengers...she wil b ol but wont talk to me...i hv no pblms with that...wht irritates me is d reson behind such an awkward n awful behaviour..n it is not tht she s the same frm starting..we shared a beautiful realtionship b4 n suddenly this..dont i deserve a clarrification from her...evryday i go to sleep with tears in my eyes...very rarely i smile frm the bottom of my heart..n its been over 2 months experiencing this..

i love my family...my friends....n when they behave in such a way it hurts me deeply..n if friends r giving me this much pain...y wil the family leave behind...my parents dont want from the bottom of their heart tht i shuld do mba....they want that i shuld get into a job..but i want to do mba..that is my desire..i alwys say "if 1's parents r wtih him then he does not need ne1 else"...n today i find myself..alone...without my parents...every father wants that his child shuld do what he culd not..n when i come to knw tht i m not living or fulfilling their expectations..it hurts me even more..

it is not physically that m sick...it is the mental area...the relations which make a person strong-friendship n family...the same are breaking me..

m a simple boy..with a simple heart...i try to keep my upper lip stiff..but for how long...m no dude or hunk neither do i want to be 1....i want my family...more so my parents...

and amidst all this i find u trying to hold me..yesterday night i did cry infct rgt now my eyes r wet...i thought once i get up in d morning i wil get wel...as it has been happennig frm past few months..but this morning it did not go tht way...

though we share a strange friendship but atleast it is far better then some of which i hv experienced past few months...how human behavior change this is a story of tht...m not successful that s what the reason...m not intelligent,not a genius at my work,hav no good qualities....just sweet looks and thats it abut "phattu"...

"All is well that ends well"

No no...m not quitting blogging...infact m coming back to it....!!

i thought of commencing it once i end with my post graduation entrance exams...but "every thing cannot go the way you plan"....

What if you go to a newly opened restaraunt in ur city..u get a tasty but totally cold burger n chilly potatoes that spoils your mood...plus a group of morons who keep on irritating you..how in the world this is going to en on a happy note...

A girl formally dressed..in open hair......walks into the restaurant...i have come across quite a few girls but she was special i could hear my heart beats...it was filmy but who cares she passed me....she was alone....took a seat behind me...for a moment my friend did not realize the etrnal beauty...but once he saw even he was speechless we could say only one thing..."sacchi mey mast hai bey" but our dreams soon broke...there came a guy again formally dressed and went straight to her and to add salt on the wound sat just beside her .........***hole no manners... though we were depressed but suddenly the burger was hot n chilly potatoes much more chilly....

why the hell every beautiful lady has a boyfriend...aren't there any good looking singles left i mean single girls left...

her smile enlightened the entire place in a much better way then the interior lights at the restaurant...and i m sure with the kind of track record i have..i wont see her again...!!

Yes something good has happened finally...but better was to come...now was the best thing that happened that evening...

the bill was 129....we gave two hundred ruppes n were supposed to get back some 71 but...got back 37o..... yup u got it right i don't know how in the world he calculated....he gave us 370 rs back...for a moment the good human in us did rise but.....

we scuttled to our two wheeler and while on our way back we kept shouting...where we were supposed to lose 60 bugs each got 125 bugs each....!!

a great evening....and this very miscalculation makes me feel ki..was there any kismat connection....!!

meanwhile...m back to blogging....and there will b few more stories...but till then its....

yahoo....yahoo....

cheers.....!!

The In-Evitable..

Chapter-4

"Chanda Mamma-our latest enemy"

"These media people,they are a genious when it comes to headlines and highlighting"says Vishesh reading the headlines of one of the newspapers and smiles.

"Why didnt he tell us before."said Ricca with a look as if she was cheated.

"We are a team.We are supposed to know all this before anyone else.Why did Dr.Broad hide it from us"she adds.

"Because there was nothing else that I could have done" said Dr.Broad as he enters the room.

"Moon though is responsible for all this,but there is no answer for that mark...and note"Dr.Broad said in a low voice.

The "baby sign" was irritating him and so he did not even like saying that word.

"Sir,you lied to the public.What if tommorow everyone get to know about this"interrupted Ricca.

She had great respect for Dr.Broad and for her Dr.Broad was equivalent to God.The fact that he lied to public was shocking for her.

He was a genious,had answers to all her queries and without even investigating and going into details of the case Dr.Broad was acting like a defeated person was something that Ricca was not able to cope up with.

"Tommorow..never comes....

I think I am growing old.Its time for all you young guys to take incharge of this organisation.There are many others who can be better than Dr.Luke Broad and I want to make way for them."he said.

None spoke for a minute or so.Everyone was stunned.

He was the greatest scientist living on earth and even he was leaving a case in the middle when it had not even started meant that there was something terribly wrong.

"Sir,you cannot leave us.The world needs you.You cannot let us die like this"breaking the silence spoke Vishesh.

"Please Sir,tell us what is the matter.We all are a team.I am sure we can find out a solution."asked Ricca

Dr.Broad took a deep breath and said..

"Ok...the note and the mark isnt anyone's mischief.These are signs of something terrible is about to happenThere are tough times ahead and by tough I mean really tough.

I dont know who has done this,who is behind all this but whosoever it is,is really powerful and I am afraid he is using his powers against the humans and the results of which could be disastrous.

Life may come to an end...."

Everyone in the room had a horrifying look as if they wanted Dr.Broad to just burst out of laughter and say all this is a joke...but it wasnt....

"Someone has now got the powers to control the natural forces..."he added.

"Isnt there anything we can do about it.There must be some way"inquired Dr.Fuke another worksmen at GSO

"Not untill we know who is behind all this.It can be anyone and to search is going to take a long time and we all dont have that much time left."answered Dr.Broad

"But Sir why are you leaving"asked Vishesh

"I am not leaving GSO...I am going on a holiday.I guess I need a break"said Dr.Broad

"A holiday at such a critical time,Sir you are running away from your responsibilities"said Ricca

"I know its crucial..but great men are always at work...and I am no different" replied Dr.Broad with a wink of eye

"You all continue working on this case and we all will remain in contact as well.

But right now I want to visit the country with colors and emotions.

I am leaving for India..I know you all will do a good job...and I am not old..it was just an emotional sentence..I got carried away probably,happens doesnt it?"said Dr.Broad

As he said he left the room as well.

None could speak anything,he was the boss and all had to accept his commands and orders.

"I think he has grown old...."said Vishesh in a disappointing tone

"We have a job to do.

A job to save this human race.I dont know what Dr.Broad is upto......but I certainly know what I am upto.

Whoever it is...I will find it out and you guys if you want you can leave as well."said Ricca

"We are a team....you only aid this and we will remain one...

Common guys its time to show your skills and talents...lets do it" said Vishesh putting his hand on Ricca's shoulder.

It was the begining of the fight.Dr.Broad had given them the work to save this human race and he was on his way to India for his so called holiday.

There was a spirit to find out the person behind all this but how...none had even thought of it.It was all impetuous.

That is what probably defines a human being...

*****

The In-Evitable..

Chapter-3

"Sir, here are the reports of the 'baby sign'."saying this with disappointing look Ricca handles over them to Dr.Broad

"What do they say...a good news or a bad one"asks Dr.Broad

"Bad one Sir,samples of blood were taken which was coming out the baby sign but unforutunately we cannot even recognise what blood group it is.This is something really wierd and astonishing."replies Ricca.

"What about the note"asks Dr.Broad

"Not a good news from it as well.The ink used to write that note is not a usual one....It is someone's blood...and again without any blood group."reports Ricca to Dr.Broad.

"Sir,I have a bad news Sir."stumbling and staggering says Vishesh another assistant to Dr.Broad.

"Now what"says Dr.Broad annoyingly.

"Sir,we erased that 'baby sign' mark as per your instructions and cleaned the entire area around it...but Sir....it appeared again and those who touched it....have died. "says Vishesh with a horrified look on his face.

This was something Dr.Broad never expected.He was speechless and motionless.

For few minutes none spoke in the room and breaking the silence the Head of GSO speaks

"Arrange a press confrence for me.I want to address the media people about what is happening."

"But Sir,this could lead to a big trouble.People wil be terrified by this.We cannot tell them about the 'baby sign' " interrupts Vishesh.

"Do as I say and stop taking that name 'baby sign' it is irritating me" says Dr.Broad in a strong voice.

Almost all of the media gathers at the GSO headquarters.All the workmen,scientists,researchers all have gathered in the meeting arena of the GSO where the confrence was to held.

It was a big room,almost like a play ground.Thousands of people can be accomodated at a time over there.

Not only those who were present in the room were waiting anxiously for the confrence to begin,almost the enitre world was glued to there television sets to listen to what the greatest scinetist present on earth right now has to say about all the latest incident.

The news of the confrence had spread like fire...

Everything was ready.All were waiting,there was lot of sound coming from the hustling and murmuring of the people present over there.

But suddenly there was a long and bestwoing silence.

From the corner with lot of security man around him walked a tall and handsome man,wearing a white court and specs.He was carrying his little laptop in his hands and a digital briefcase in the other.

Everyone stood up in his honour.

He requested very humbly to everyone to take there seats.

It took a minute or so for everyone to be ready for the confrence.

"Dr.Broad will first inform you all and then later you all can put up your questions and please maintain the decorum of the place"said Ricca Grace as Dr.Broad stood up to start the confrence.

"Goodevening ladies and gentlemen.I wont waste too much of a time in greeting you all because we have serious things to talk about.

As you all know why I have called up this confrence.This is regarding the disaster which occured in the outskirts of New York.

Well,thousands of years ago life originated on this earth.There have been many theories regarding the origin of life.Several great scientist have had tehre own views about the origin of life.Somesay it started from water,somesay it was the building up of amino acids which lead to the first living creature on earth and many more.

Our earth is a very sensitive planet.All the astronomical incidents that occur in our galaxy that tend to effect our dear earth as well.

Moon..as we all know revolves around earth.

It is because of the moon that we experience day and night,the changing seasons all are the gifts of the pockmarked satellite that is Moon.

But in real it is not the Moon that revolves around the Earth.

Both Earth and Moon tend to revolve around a common point what we call as Barrycentre.

Thousands of years ago when Moon came into existence,large pieces of rocks and other substances as big as 500km in diameters collided with our planet that set the whole Earth-Moon system into a rotation.

Slightst of deviation of which could lead to disastrous effects.

And I am afraid that is what happening right now.

Moon is drifting away in its orbit...and because of which we are and we will be experiencing such natural calamities.

I dont know how long it will last and what all this could lead to.

All I can say is that...."

He waited for a while took a deep breath and said....

"All I can say is that..this might even last for thousands of years and this could lead to the end of life on our planet as well."

"Thank You"

Everyone was stunned on what they just heard from Dr.Broad.

Just as Dr.Broad was leaving the podium one of the reportes asked him.

"Sir,isnt there anything you could do about it."

"Well at this point of time.There is nothing anyone can do about this.It is a complete natural process.But I wont give up that easily.I have certain plans to battle out of this situation."replied Dr.Broad generoulsy.

"Sir,what about the 'baby sign' and that note"asked about5-6 reporters simultaneously.

"All that is nonsense.Just dont create much of a issue out of nothing."said Dr.Broad irritatingly.

"Sir but we have heard that some people who touched that 'baby sign' have died and that it reappeared after your team erased it.Is it true Sir"asked another reporter.

"Who told you this.All this is rubbish,I dont know who is spreading all these romours.I dont have enough time,Thank you all for coming."said Dr.Broad in a very hesitating manner.

The confrence was over.

It left many questions unanswered.

Why did the world's greatest and the best scintific organisation made such an important discussion a publical one.

Why did Dr.Broad didnt answer any of the questions proplerly.

Why was he tensed.

What is going to be the next step of the human race.

How will we survive.

Is it true....we all might die....will life really get extinct from earth..

Will the creator of this world be the destroyer as well....

*****

The In-Evitable..

Chapter-2

15 years after...

21st September 2025...

"Scientists have been taken aback by the latest ,natural disaster.Some say it was a meteorite,while some say it was a star that lost its route and chose our planet for its death.

Reports suggest that even the great stalwarts of science present today had no prior information about this incident.Normally it does not happen so.

Also another very important and misterious link up with this incident is that a very unusual "sign" of a baby bleeding has been found at the location with a note saying

"I am the creator of this world and I will be the destroyer"

This has perplexed a lot of minds of the GSO (Global Scientist Organisation).

The head of the GSO Dr.Luke Broad Connes has asked the people to stay calm and not to overeact on the baby sign and the note.He has promised that GSO will dig deep into the case."

"These media people finally got something to show.This will be telecasted atleast for a month or so now."said Mr.Goel swtiching of the telvision.

"But that note and baby sign,that is something to worry.Isn't it.Who could have done that.I am the creator of this world and I will be the destroyer,this sounds so terrifying.I mean what if there is God behind all this."said Mrs Goel nervously and looking at the statue of Lord Ganesh in there room.

"Whoever has done it,certainly has succeded.This is just to increase superstition and make a fool out of people like you."replied Mr.Goel in a commanding voice.

"But this could be God,he might be angry with us.After all we have misused his most valuable possesion."replied Mrs Goel and again looked at the statue ,this time bowing her head and praying as well.

GSO Headoffice...

"Dr.Broad,what do you think about this" said his assistant Mis Ricca Doul pointing at the "baby sign".

"I dont know.I have never come across such a thing in my career.I hope it is someone's mischief,because if it is not....then we have tough times ahead" replied the head of GSO Dr.Broad in hazy voice looking up in the sky...

*****

The In-Evitable..

Chapter-1

Present Day

June 2010,

"Shreyanand Pradhan dies"

said the headlines of the Sunday Times as Mr.Goel picked the newspaper.

He continued reading the details of the news.

"After a long chase ,Shreyanad Pradhan died yesterday night.Many charges such as using public beliefs for undue advantage was imposed on him for which he was sentenced to jail as well.

He had predicted that the world would come to an end by 2030.Government says that the incidents that occured in the past few days were the basis on which he was convicted.But he ran away from the custody and died.

His family members have registered a case against the police accusing them of killing Shreyanand in encounter.Meanwhile policemen are trying to find the body but reports say that till now there is no clue of the dead body."

Honey can you come here,look "it is on the news as well"

"Shreyanand,who was a well known scientist and an astrologer died last night.He was being taken to jail where in he ran away.All the policemen who were on the duty have been suspended and the state police has declared that he has died.Many belive it is yet another encounter of the state police.

Shreyanand was an astrologer.In one of his predictions he said that the world would come to an end in 2030.

Lately there has been a lot of talks about the same,after what all has been happening across the globe.

Firstly,the statue of Jesus in a private church at London,bleeding.

secondly the various indian idols crying and bleeding as well have raised a lot of questions.In the midst of all the chaos and superstions Shreyanand predicted the world's end which horrified the people and so he was accused of playing with public emotions and sprading rumours.

Other scientists belive that all this was superstious and that Shreyanand did this just for publicity.

Everything is well now and the world will live happily for thousands of years to come."

"I dont know what has happened to this world,especially in India,its so easy to earn money in such a fashion.Predict something as stupid as this and you will be on television for atleast a week and will be the talking point of the entire country for atleast a day or so",said Mr.Goel to his wife.

"Honey,I completely disagree with you here.Shreyanad was a famous astrologer,all the things which he had predicted so far turned out to be true.Even this could be.What if the world actually come to an end."replied Mrs.Goel

"Ok,so how about a nice hot tea before the world comes to an end honey"said Mr.Goel in a rather sarcastic manner.

"Oh sure" said Mrs Goel looking out of the window as it was getting dark and about to rain.

She said to herself ,"Its November and it usually does not rain at this time of the year.It has been raining continously over the past few days.The times are changing,so is the world"

*****

The In-Evitable..

"The Inevitable"

"the earth belongs in usufruct to the humans.And they have misused it and its time to return it to its owner.."

Thousands of years ago life evolved on earth.Some believe we are the descendants of Adams and Eve whereas some say we evolved from Rishi Manu....

Science on the other hand says...life evolved from the water.

There have been lot of theories related to the origin of life,where it began and how it began.Many great scientists have given theoris related this.

But there is only one theory which everyone belive,when it comes to the end of life.

Things which start, has to come to an end one day...and its about time that tis happens.

Technology may increase the life span,it may help you survive for few more years but eventually one has to die.One cannot run away from death because that is ......"Inevitable"....

*****

THANX...!!

Hello everybody,

Well first of all I would like to thank you all for reading my story.I am happy that the message I wanted to convey has been atleast conveyed to one or two people.I was quite shocked when I learnt that there were quite a few people reading it.

I dont know whether I did a good job or not but I enjoyed writing it and I think as a writer that is what important.If you start enjoying your own creations your readers will enjoy it too.

I know my last story was a bit banal and boring,but I cant helpt it because 11 out of 10 love stories are boring....

Meanwhile I have started working on my next story and in bollywood jargon I would say "its on the floor",certain things are to be finalised but I would certainly hint about it....Its going to be fiction...involving lots of emotions and relations....stars,earth and science....will start it from 20th aug2009.....I hope to live upto the expectations and honestly speaking....I am quite excited about my new story..

so till next time..its

Yahooo...Yahoooo( i missed saying it)

cheersss....!!

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-14 "The Final Chapter"

Mishthi died the very next day of blood cancer.She kept taking Jatin's name towards the end of her journey.She kept saying to Ankita,Sunidhi and some of her friends who were still in contact with her..

"call Jatin,tell him that I love him.May be he did not read the letters I gave him.Call him please.I want to see him one last time."

She closed her eyes saying this and her last wish of meeting Jatin remained unfulfilled.

*****

Love is the most beautifull gift that God has given to human beings.

But there are two things that are very important in love.

One,realizing that it is love.

Two,saying it.

Mishthi never realized that she loved Jatin if she would have then she would have died happily.Three years,in those three years she would have lived her entire life and then she wouldnt have had any complains.

Or if Jatin could have said to Mishthi that he loves her.Again the story could have been different.

The greats pleasure in life comes when you get what you want and for that one has to make some efforts.

If you love someone,say it.Because you never know,you might not get another chance of saying it.Atmost your love will reject you..atleast you did your part rest is upto God.

I wrote this story not just for fun or passing my time.I have been seeing my friends and others as well loving someone dearly but hesitating to say it.I wrote this for them.

I dont know whether I managed to change there perception and lived upto all your expectations (if there were any) but this was something I thought of sharing so I did.

Thanxx to everyone who beared me and gave their precious time to my blog.

Those who didnt....no comments.

Anyways this was the end to my story so all you folks in love....."sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."..

******

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-13 "Mishthi's Last Letter"

"I want you,I want to close my eyes in your lap.Yes Phattu..I am dying.Please come back to me quickly.I told you that I waited for the right time to let you know all this.This was the right time as I did not want to answer your queries.But while writing all this I have realized that how much I love you.I remember each and every moment that I spent with you.All the smiles we shared,all the tears..everything.

But I dont have enough time Phattu.May be by the time you read this I may have died but still I believe true love conquers everything and God cannot be so cruel to me.Please come back to me.I am suffering from blood cancer,all the alcohol,cigrattes and most importantly my deeds have given me this.Its on the last stage.

Please I want to die in ur arms.Come to me Phattu as I Love You..."

Jatin's smile vanished.God cannot be this cruel.He gave me happiness but that too for few seconds.This was unfair.He wasnt crying,his eyes were dry.He had no idea of how to react this.Mishthi loved him,he finally had his love but it might be that till now Mishthi might have died.She might be alive as well.

He ran to his car,quickly started it.

It had again started raining and raining heavily it was.

He did not think about anything else.Just kept on driving,the road and the traffic wasnt visible to him properly as it as raining heavily.

It was a storm,Strong winds,clouds roaring,rain pouring down.Suddenly he saw a truck coming towards him,it wasnt visible properly it was coming close to him and he moved the steering sideways and tried to move away from its path...he swayed towards the left side and...

"bang....

he crashed into the sidewalls of the bridge and breaking it he flunged in air.He could feel the vaccum beneath him.He could see the river flowing and that people have gathered on the bridge.

God was cruel to him.He could not even see Mishthi one last time.He closed his eyes,he saw Mishthi's smiling face,the night when he holded her in his arms,the way he first met her and Mishthi's last words...I love you Phattu..

He said in a low voice,"I love you too Mishthi.."and

splash.. sounded the water when it took Jatin in its arms.It was raining heavily and the river was a deep one.Some people tried to find his body but there were no signs of Mishthi's Phattu.

He loved her truely and deserved Mishthi but not all love stories end on a happy note.

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-12

"I was afraid to tell about what happened on the farewell eve.So I did not show up for the next one month in the college.I never loved Prateek,he was just my boy friend not my love.May be this is what I deserved after what all I did with you and my family.

I wrote all these letters to you,so that you come to know why I wasnt replying to your mails and why did I behaved so awkardely over the last few years.

I know how it feels when someone uses you and leaves you full of queries and questions.Life seems to be awful and miserable in such situations.

I used you,be it our exams,our projects ,my personal life anything.I always used you and relied on you.I am sorry Phattu but I was blinded.I dont know what was it that blinded me but I had no idea what I was doing.You were right Phattu,I was careless,my parents were careless.If they would have been caring towards me,things could have been different.

I miss them a lot Phattu."

He was reading the letter and he could see that it had stop raining.It was drizzling though but Jatin could see that dark clouds were moving away.He could see patches of blue sky and little bit of sunlight as well.

he picked the letter and began to read..

"I miss them a lot Phattu,I miss you Phattu...I miss you a lot.

I..

I...I Love You Phattu....

Yes I dont know how but I love you.I thought I would tell you everything.But as I was writing these letters I have realized what all you have done for me.How you managed to bear Prateek,you were always there with me when I was happy and when I was sad.

I have fallen in love with you Phattu.I cannot believe this but I LOVE YOU...

I never realized it,its my fault.Your eyes always said to me that you love me but I never realized it.

I love you,I have realized now."

Jatin could not believe what he was reading.He ecstatic,on the moon,all the tears vanished from his eyes.Smile was back.

Mishthi loved him as well.Hs Mishu loved him.He again picked the letter and went on reading it..

"I love you,I have realized now.I need you Phattu.I need you badly as I want to close my eyes in your lap."

Jatin was perplexed on what Mishthi had written.

"close my eyes what does that mean"

He quickly picked the next letter and began reading it.

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-11 "Mishthi's Story-II"

"Mishthi,I am sorry.I didnt mean to heart you.I just said it in furstration.I am sorry Mishthi"saying Jatin following her.

It was 3am and being full moon night there was a lot of light on the streets even though the street lights werent at there best.

"Mishthi where are you going.That is not the way to your hostel.Its almost 3am Mishthi,lets go back.Its highly unsafe here."

Mishthi headed towards a bench and sat there.

It was the highest point of the city.Almost entire city was visible from there.Stars twinkling in the clear sky.Light from the moon striking on the surface of lake making it look even more beautiful.

Following Mishthi Jatin came and he also sat there.

Both did not speak to each other for quite a while.Jatin could see tears on Mishthi's cheeks.

Trying to deviate from the subject he said,"nice place,soothing,cool.The light striking the water surface is like the icing on the cake.There you can..."

"I had a boy friend"Mishthi interrupted him.

Jatin paused,"what"

"It was in class 11th.His name was Bonny.We were great friends.One day he came upto me and prposed me.I loved him too.So without thinking much I said 'yes' to him.

We used to spent each and every minute with each other.He gave me some of the most memorable moments my life.

Our relationship went through every aspect.We were attached emotionally,physically and mentally.

He loved madly,cared for me as if i was his little baby.

I loved him too.

For him I fought with my parents.I fought with my career and above all for him I fought with my own soul.

I thought I was the only girl in his life.But I was wrong.He used me just like he had done with other girls.I came to know this when I saw him in a restraunt with someone else.My heart broke,I loved him from the bottom of my heart and he used me for physical pleasures.

I told my parents about this.Instead of giving me support,they added to my pain.They blamed me for all what I was going through.I still remember the words of my dad,"having you as our child is the biggest mishap that has happend to us.There is no place for someone like you in this house.We have decided.You are doing engineering from Bhopal.Your uncle lives there,stay with him or in a hostel but please stay away from us.We will send you money whenever you will need it.But we dont wont to get involve in your life anymore.I dont want calls from anyone.Be it your complains or anything else."

I never thought that my parents would leave me when I needed them the most.

It hurts Jatin,when your parents are not with you.One can face any obstacle in life if his parents are with him, but mine were not.

I lost my belief in realtionships after this.For me there was not any motivation left to live.So I am like this,careless...you were right I am careless...but my parents were not careless Jatin.I love them,still I love them.I miss them dearly.I love them."

She rested her head on Jatin's shoulder and tears started to flow out of her eyes.Jatin's heart ached seeing this.

"What about Bonny.Did you ever talk to him again ?" asked Jatin.

"Yeah I did.I did try it lot of times.But he refused to talk me.I wanted to know why he did this to me.But he refused,didnt pick my calls,did not even reply to my messages.Thats why I believe he used me.

But he was my first true love and the last as well.Phattu I owed my life to him and he used me.

Whatever he did I am not able to forget him and might not as well.

I have no place left in my heart for anyone.I will not be able to love anyone else in my life.I am saying this not in he heat of the moment but from the bottom of my heart.

You know he too used to call me Mishu..when you first called me by that name you reminded me of him.Please Jatin stop calling me by that name.It makes me uncomfortable."

Jatin took her in his arms,Mishthi continued to cry.She was crying bitterly.

"Dont worry Mishu..sorry Mishthi...everything will be alright.Infact everything is fine.I am with you."He hated to say this but went to say,"Prateek is also there,dont worry"

The last few words echoed in his ears.Mishthi said it that she wont be able to love anyone else.There is no place in her heart for anyone.It was heartbreaking for Jatin but he somehow managed to hide his feelings.

"what is luv...??

this is love...

when you hide your tears and still care for her.

its when she ignores you and you still love her.

its when she love someone else and still you smile for her."

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-10 "Mishthi's Story-I"

Jatin was crying like a baby.It was getting tougher and tougher for him.Firstly his love called him and then she threw him out of her life SAYING SHE NEVER LOVED HIM.

Secondly,he learns that his love was raped by a guy whom he hated the most.

He always used to warn Mishthi about Prateek and his intentions,but she never took him seriously.Once they were having a night out.Prateek,Mishthi,Jatin,Sunidhi,Rishi and Jyotsana.After drinking little bit of beer and enjoying in a pub,they were returning to there homes.Prateek saw an old house and stopped his car.They spent an hour talking over there.Jatin never loved to go out on night outs especially with Prateek and his freaky group but for Mishthi he had to do it.They were enjoying at the old wierd looking place and suddenly came two "thullas".They caught Jatin and Rishi from their collars and said,"come lets go to police station and have some fun over there."

They tried to convince them and bribe them but they were not listning to anything.They took the entire group to the police station.While in the way,Jatin managed to get a glimpse of Mishthi,she was crying with her head resting on Prateek's shoulder.He wished he could wipe off Prateek's shoulder.

One of the thullas' yelled at them"sit properly you dumbasses"

Jatin loved it.

They went to the station.The inspector called there parents.

It was 2am and everyones' parents came but there were no signs of Mishthi's parents.

Prateek and his friends belonged to high society so for them this wasnt a big issue.

But Jatin belonged to a middle class family.His mother cried right in the middle of the police station.

His dad who was a government employee slapped him and Jatin could see tears in his eyes as well.

All the name which he had manage to earn after giving his sweat and blood was going to be ruined now.He will not be able toshow his face again.His only son was caught at 2am at a lonely place with girls...his life was ruined.

After all the drama the police inspector allowed everyone to leave apart from Mishthi because her parents didnt show up.He said,"poor girl you will be our guest for tonight."

Mishthi looked at Jatin,she was scared,her face was blue and she was shivering.

"She is with me."said Jatin.

"Ohh..really then why didnt your parents recognize there second child."said the inspector in a shrude manner.

"Well they did so because..she had done this lot of times before as well and so they no longer count her as there child."

though they were in trouble still Jatin managed to use his brain.

"Do you think we are as silly as your professors.You Jackass"said the inspector coming so close to Jatin that he could smell inspector's breathe which was full of cigratte.

"They are not my parents Bhaiya.Leave me here."interrupted Mishthi with a wink of eye.

"Sir let them go..we have got what we wanted.Its there life..."said one of the thullas who had caught them.

"OK...you may go.But dont repeat it again"said the inspector.

Mishthi and Jatin came out of the station,Jatin's parents had gone.They could not bear the pain.

"Hey Phattu...look over there itz Kamsum...come lets have a coke"said Mishthi pointing to the restraunt which was about a kilometre away.

"Are you insane.We almost got ourselves locked up,we were caught at a lonely place that too at night or rather morning.My parents cried in front of me and you want a soft drink.

Your parents didnt even show up.That is why you are like this,careless ,because your parents are careless.They dont even care for their daughter.You are just an asshole who keeps getting into problems and keep making me sick as well."

The smile from Mishthi's face vanished.She started walking her way to the hostel,wipping her tears,she went alone.

Jatin knew it was night time and he cannot allow her to go alone and so he followed her.

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-9 "The Untold Story"

Jatin was falling in love with Mishthi once again.All the hatered that had sinked in him post that meeting with Mishthi seemed to have gone.He was reliving his past.His eyes were wet,but had a smile on his face.People did not existed for him.It was almost an hour since the waiter had served him coffee.But till now it had turned into cold coffee.

May be this is what love does.No matter how much you hate it,you will end up loving it.

It can give you some the most weird feelings of this world.You might start loving the nights,you might start loving moon and its light,you will be lost in the music and more importantly you will go crazy.

He was falling and the waiter over there interrupted him,"sir,I think its time you should have the coffee"

"Ohh yeah...thanx"replied Jatin.

He picked the next letter and started reading it...

"I dont know what had happen to you towards the end of our college.You started behaving awkwardly.You were a different Jatin,more loving,more caring.You were hell lot possesive.

I did not like that at times but with time I understood why you were behaving this way.I understood you realy loved me and this was making me uneasy at that time.I never thought that my actions will lead to this,I was feeling guilty for what I had done with you.But that was only for few moments.I was so engrosed in my own life that in my last two years I almost lost the handle of my life.

Untill it was that incident.....with Prateek.

It was when we were giving the farewell to our seniors.Everyone was busy,Prateek took the advantage of this.We were in classroom,it was evening time.The function was about to start he took me to the lecture hall.There was none there.He said he has a surprise in store for me.I trusted him.He closed the doors.I was scared but I trusted him.He came close to me,holded my hands and kissed me.

I did not know how to react to this.He started being more physical,touched on ceratin parts which I cannot even write.I hope you understand.He started to remove m clothes Phattu.....and I..slapped him.

Yes I slapped him.I was not comfortable.I told him that but he wasnt in any mood to let me go.The music was loud none could hear anything.He tried to convinve me but I kept on refusing.Untill he lost control and forcefully made me love him.

Yes Jatin we made love that evening.But I didnt do it from the bottom of my heart.I am sounding foolish but I am not able to use the correct word I am scared to use it...ok I will say it....I was raped that evening Phattu"

Jatin could not believe what he just read.He was taken aback by this.He had no idea of this,he wasnt having a clue as well.An year passed by after this incident but he could not figure it out.He felt bad for Mishthi as he knew that Mishthi though was a freaky girl but she was pure from inside,but deep down he knew this had to happen.He felt disgusted,annoyed,he lost his temper.He wanted a piece of Prateek.He wanted to kick his ass and beat him to hell.He was so agitated that the coffe mug in his hand broke into pieces because of his firm grip.

Those pieces were picked up by the cleaner and taken care of...but who was going to take care of jatin and his broken heart.After all his love was raped and he could not do anything.

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-8 "When Jatin Realized It"

Being a part of Mishthi's memories not pnly made him happy but also made him fall back into his past and his Memories.

He remembered how he kept falling in love with her.But he was confused whether it was actually love or whether it was mere attraction.

This is one of the most difficult thing in love.The problem of realizing that ,it is love.

But as some of the famous actors in thier movies have said,"it takes a moment to realize that it is love".

Jatin remembered that moment very well.

It was when Jatin and Mishthi were third year.Their friendship had grew much stronger.Jatin used to tell her all his problems and Mishthi was his guide to come out of the problems.Mishthi though never used to discuss much about her life with him rather none had an idea about her past.

They used to bunk lectures,make night outs,go out shopping together...life was running smoothly.

In there third year,during the tech fest of their insti,on being forced bt Mishthi,Jatin and Mishthi made a scince model.There were two other girls in the group,Jyotsana and Ankita.It was a working model on "cyngas".They were going to be engineers and still made a model on a social issue that was quite irrelevant.But this did not matter to Msihthi,she wanted to take part in the tech fest all that mattered to her was the co-ordinator of the electronics department.He was Amit,Mishthi and Jatin's senior.She had a secret crush on him which was known to evreyone....!!

Mishthi,Jatin and Ankita were at Jyotsana's place,they were working on the model.Everyone was given a specific work.Jatin had been thinking of his realtionship with from past few days.He had been observing that Mishthi was showing more intrest in him nowadays.She was being for caring and loving.

Something same happened at Jyotsana's place.

Jatin was sharpening a pencil and while doing so,accidently he cut his finger.Mishthi could not see the blood coming out of Jatin's finger.She was annoyed and started shouting on Jatin,"Dont you know how to sharpen a pencil.You dumbo,you are lucky that its not a deep cut,dont you have brains or what,some one cares for you and you just dont take care of yourself.Idiot"

Mishthi had overeacted.But that made Jatin feel a bit special but at the same time a bit insulted as well,as there were two more people in the room at that time.Mishthi always carried a first aid kit with her something at which Jatin was always amazed.She took out a bandage and an ointment. She wraaped the bandage on Jatin's finger and as she was wrapping it she was still murmuring,"what an idiot,dumbo doesnt even know how to sharpen.God knows how such people get admision in colleges.asswhole."

Jatin did not have the guts to see what were Ankita and Jyotsana's reactoin to all this.Ankita interrupted Mishthi,"Mishu you are overreacting.Its just a cut."

This was it.Mishthi shouted on her,"Bloody be quite.You dont know this stupid fellow.I know him more then anyone in this college.One cut and the next day he will be suffering from fever.He is not at all strong do you know that.Similar sort of thing happened few days back as well when he had eaten 50 gol gappas in one go you know what happened the very next day.He was sufering from loose motions"

Jatin felt disgusted,"Mishthi do you have an idea of what you are saying.Atleast you could have skiped the loose motion part.

And can you tell me how come eating 50 gol gappas is same as a cut that too by a blade.

And I am a strong guy.Dot challenge me on that."

"Shut up Phattu,you are an idiot you dont know anything.What if this lade is a rusted one.You could be suffering from AIDS" replied Mishthi.

"What,what are you saying Mishthi.That blade is perfectly fine ok" said Jyotsana in an irritated and shocked manner.Indirectly it was her insult as well.

Just as Mishthi and Jyotsana were fighting it out in words came a scream,

"Ouchhh.."

Mishthi had pinched on Jatin's wound in order to take out her frustration.She had this habbit of pinching others when she was irritated and angry.

"Good you desreve it" said Mishthi rudely.

Everyone looked at eachother and came a loud burst of laughter.Mishthi pretended to be angry for a while but later even she joined the laughing club.

She was being more physical that entire day.On one occasion she came so close to Jatin that Jatin felt her heart beating as well.All this got Jatin's adrenalin flowing like water.

Then finally came the moment,while having fun,Mishthi intenionally poured the half filled glass water over Jatin.Half which she had drunk,Jatin was furious as this and said,"that was the same glass from which you had taken water"

"So what you are my Phattu.I can do everything with you and for you."

Those words struck him deep.Suddenly he could feel his heart beating faste.That whole night he could not sleep.Mishthi's words kept echoing in his ears.

He could see stars from his window and it was full moon night as well.Nice breeze was blowing and with it was blowing all the confusion.It was now that he did realize that he was in love.He was in love with Mishthi and that he could not live without her.Love was in the air that night.Jatin could feel it.

That is another strange thing about love,night seems to be brighter then days,suddenly you see a true friend in moon and stars.This is love....giving life even to the non living things.This is love.... in which even abstract feelings and things become visible and Jatin was feeling it.

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-7 "The Bond Gets Stronger"

Just as Jatin finished reading the letter and was to start the next one.There was a pause.He ws reliving the moments of fun and love.It was as if his Mishu was with him.

He recalled how he was falling in love with her at that point of time.He was confused initial whether he loved her or was it infactuation.Whatever it was he was loving it.

Mishthi was an outgoing girl,she was fun loving and careless.Jatin did not use to like such a girls.For him such girls were made to be "get used kind of girls" but there was something in Mishthi, which blinded him.

He wanted Mishthi to be always with him.He remembered how he used to get agitated when she used to spend her time or talk to Prateek.He wanted her to be away from Prateek but did not have the courage to tell her that,so he decided to bear Prateek.

As days were passing by Mishthi and Prateek were getting closer.She used to sit with Prateek and bunk classes which irritated Jatin.But the soft corner in Jatin's heart never allowed him say or stop Mishthi from doing,what she was happy doing.

Even today the very fact that Mishthi and Prateek's name was popping in his mind at the same time was annoying him.He felt disgusted.

Suddenly he got the whole issue,he understood why Mishthi used him,why didnt she replied to him.Why did she leave him.

It was all because of Prateek.He and Mishthi were still together.Why didnt he think of this before.He kept irritating Mishthi with his messages and mails.She was happy with Prateek and Jatin was coming in there way.

He felt disgusted of himself now.He felt so bad that he felt going back to Mishthi and ask her for forgivness.He had cursed Mishthi a few times when she didnt use to reply him,he regreted on his actions and words.

But nothing could be done now.It was all over.

May be Mishthi could have been with him if he would have been sensible and patient.

It was all his fault.

As he was cursing himself,he picked the next letter and started reading it.

*****

"I was enjoying my life.Prateek,Jyotsana,Rishi,Sunidhi and aboe all of them you.I did not ever think that my collefe life would be so fun after what I had gone through before.

Do you remember Phattu how we used to fool my hostel's wardon and make out those fabulous night outs.You used to tell her that you are my uncle's son and I will be spending the night at my uncle's house.And the computer genious you were,you used record your own voice and modify it to sound like unlce's voice and that silly wardon always used to fall in our trap.Once she did caught us and was to inform our parents.I wasnt worried that time but you were sweating like anything and I will be honest I did feel guilty at that time.

Do you remember the incident.How will you dumbo."

Mishthi had this habbit of pulling others leg on things others were champions at.Everyone in the class respected Jatin for his mind and memory but she always used to insult him for that.For her qualities which she had were the only useful ones rest all the qualities were useless.She wasnt great when it came to studies and so those who were good in studies always found themselves in Mishthi's joke list.

"It was a sunday evening.I wanted to go out to a club with Prateek.So I called you up to take me out of the hostel as the wardon always trusted you more then me,thanx to your nerdy looks.

That day you had forgotton your cell at home,but somehow we convinced the wardon to let us go.

But she called you on your cell.She had some urgent work with me.It was regarding the almirah in my room.I wanted to get repaired.She wanted the keys of my room,so she called you.

And to our good luck your mom recieved the call.

Your mom said that she does not even know who this Mr.Khiyani is (that was my so called uncle's name).

Shukla mam investigated and found that we always used to fool her.The very next day she got hold of you and just as she was going to make a call to your parents,I saved you.

I knew one of her secrets.She used to fool the hostel owner and I once asw her stealing money from the office.I never said that since I was waiting for the right moment.This was the moment and so our asses got saved.

One thing is quite evident Phattu together we made a very good team.You had the brains and I had the beauty."

Jatin loved the last few words of the letter.He was happy to know that Mishthi remembered every bit of those glorious days.He was happy to know that he was a part of Mishthi's memories.

*****

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-6 "The Confusion Grows"

"You remember the first time we bunked our class.It was Tripathi Sir's lecture that too guest lecture and we were all supposed to attend that.But I forced you to come with me for a movie.

I kept on enjoying in the movie and you were saying only one thing during the movie,"what if somebody comes to know about us.I will be ruined,my parents will kill me."

You were so scared.I still remember it was at that moment I gave you the name Phattu.

And you always lived upto this name.

The very next day Sir did ask us where were we and I must say though you were Phattu,you were quite brilliant in giving excuses.You said to him,"Sir we were getting late for your lecture so we were hurrying up and in the process Mishthi fell on the stairs and so I took her to the first aid room.

You said this and Sir immediately turned to me to see where did I get hurt.You were so stupid,if you were to make this excuse atleast should have informed me.But the born actress in me helped us didnt she.I managed to convince him quite easily that it was an internal injury and you remember that at the same time I took the permission to skip that class and coming three classes as well.That was so awsome of me.

And when I got the permission the furious look you gave to me,did scare me but I knew you wont say anything to me.

But I was wrong.You shouted on me that day during the recess time,saying,I am being careless,I am playing with my life and blah blah....

None had ever talk to me like that before.But I loved it.It meant you cared for me.

You know during those three days I got close to Prateek as well.He too was one of those who used to bunk a lot.We met near the girls hostel in our campus.He was a flirt and so was I.

We came very close to each other during that period and people started talking about us.I knew you never liked my name being linked up with Prateek.But I liked Prateek and his group of idiots. They were like me,careless and souless.

But somewhere I was feeling bad for you as well.You kept warning me against Prateek and his friends.

Though you were not my kind but I needed you.During exam times you used to sit right next to me.So I needed you a lot,didnt I.

I still remember how tensed you used to get during our results.

In our second sem I failed in two subjects and you secured 68% and still you were crying.I was calming you down.You were saying "my parents will kill me.I never secured less then 75 in my whole life.I am dead"

It was quite amazing every time you were disappointed almost same words came out of your mouth.

I was loving it though.You were sweet,caring and a loving friend.Though most of the times it was me who used to do the caring part but still you were caring."

Just as the letter ended Jatin got even more confused.He knew Mishthi was an unpredictable person but to this extent she was unpredictable,he had nver thought that.

He was confused in the ambivalnce of his emotions.At times he used to love her and at times he used to hate her for the wicked intensions she had.He wasnt able to decide that what actually Mishthi wanted.

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-5 "The Day It Finally Began"

"The very next day Mr.Jigyasi checked everyone's assignment.I still remember how you saved me from him.Just as he was coming to check my assignment,you indulged him in your questions and I swapped my place with Ritesh.Even Ritesh liked it didnt he...??

And then it came to the oral test.Sir wanted to test my intelligence which I never had.But you kept prompting the answers and I kept on impressing him and others as well.

Do you remember that numerical question...something like point of contraflexture,you had drawn the diagram on the board and I was asked to locate the point.I had no clue of that but you kept gesturing from the board behind Sir's back.I remember the answere was 1.778m and the way i said it.Speaking all the numerals one at a time,like,One...seven...seven...eight.

Just as I said this he shouted on me."Do you even know what are you saying.1778 dont you have common sense."

He could have gone on to insult me but you interrupted,"Sir may be she means 1778cm.Dont you Mishthi"

"yes,yes definetly sir.1778cm"Mishthi replied with around 10 nod of head.

I trusted you blindly on that.

But even in that Mr.Jigyasi managed to point out a flaw,"The answer is correct,but arent you been taught how to prononce it"

That did hurt my ego and I replied,"Actually Sir I have been taught but I said it in this way so that everyone could note it down easily."

The class was amazed on my reply werent they.

But that was the time when I found a friend.

Strange it is.Almost 6 years have passed by to this incident but I still remember it minute by minute.That is really strange."

Just as Jatin finished first part of the second letter he could recall the entire incident as well.He remembered that how his classmates were trying to impress Mishthi during the recess time that day.

Prateek the most handsome boy of the class approached Mishthi and said,"Mishthi,what a sweet name"

Just as he said it,Mishthi turned and looked at Jatin and they both started laughing.Prateek did not understand what was going on.He felt humiliated.He was the stud and the most gorgeous girl of the class making a fun out of him with one of the reasonably good looking guy made him sick.

Prateek was about to leave as Mishthi stopped him,"You will not appreciate my parents for giving me such a sweet name."

He liked it and thought "My magic's working" as he replied to her,"ofcourse I will.They certainly have given you a sweet name"

Just as he said this,came a loud burst of laughter from Jatin and Mishthi,which made him sicker.He was agitated.but Mishthi and Jatin seemed to have love this.

Jatin was on cloud nine that day as the Hunk was amuzingly insulted.

He and Mishthi kept laughing at the incident the entire day.Mishthi had this habbit of giving a "Five" whenever she was laughing or enjoying a moment.They shared almost fifty "fives" that day.

All this made Jatin feel special.He could not sleep that night,kept rolling from one side to other.This was new to him and he was liking it as well.

He was recalling the incident and suddenly picked up the second part of the letter and began to read.It said,

" I was happy to find a friend but at the same time I did like Prateek at first as well.Though I insulted him but he really was attractive.I always had boy friends who were having good looks and good physique and he was no different.But somehow I was loving our relationship as well.At the end of that day I saw Prateek and you having a conversation and me being so intelligent in such matters I could see what Prateek was saying to you.It was related to what happend during the recess time and he didnt like it.

It had happened before as well.I have had countless boy friends and many had fought for me as well.I knew how to handle it but I also knew that you werent really trying to impress me and that your feelings were true where as what Prateek was thinking for me was completely physical."

The letter ended.

Jatin was happy after reading it,as he got to know that Mishthi respected his feelings,she was aware of the fact the Jatin's feelings were true but then why was she so rude over the past few years was a question that kept popping in his mind.

Mishthi was indeed mysterious and that is why he was reading her letters so that he could solve the mystery behind Mishthi.

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-4 "The Darker Side Of Love"

"I know I have hurt you.I realized it very early that you love me,but pretended as a fool.But i never loved you,I never liked people like you.But I did see a very good friend in you.May be it was because you loved me,if you would have told me that,I would have certainly refused and then probably I would have come to know the real friend in you.I always felt the warmth in your hand and the love in your eyes but i kept ignoring it.

Now you would certainly want to know why I am telling you all this.

I thought you will forget me,just as I did but I was wrong.You kept messaging me,kept reminding me of our story and our time.

I was waiting for the right time to come and now is the right time to let you know what I felt for you.It might happen that I may hurt you during this,but I am sorry,I just cannot hold this anymore.I dont want you in my life so telling you my side of the story.

Let the story begin....."

Your's

Mishthi.

Each and every word of these lines made Jatin even more sad.It was as if someone's pinching needles in his heart.It was painful for him.His love never loved him.He was confused whether to keep reading the letters or stop them.Mishthi had already told him that she never loved him and reading these letters could be painful.

But he decided to bear the pain.

He decided to see how evil his love can get.He decided to see how inhuman Mishthi can be.He picked up the first letter and there began the story,Mishthi's Memories.....

*****

The First Encounter

"May I come in Sir"

A soft voice echoed in the class.Mishthi could see fifty heads turning to watch this late comer on the class.Mr.Jigyasi never allowed late comers in his class.But Mishthi was different.The beauty in her voice,the charm in her eyes and the angel like body language seemed to have touched even the 45 year old professor.As she got the permision to attend the class from Mr.Jigyasi she stepped in and looked for a seat.She could see many of the students trying to make place for her.

But right in front she saw a guy busy in his own work and there was place beside him as well.So as she grabbed that place all the eyes escorted her to the front seat.

Just as she took her seat she could hear the murmuring of her class mates.They were all amazed and exctied with the new entry in their class.Suddenly Mr.Jigyasi questioned,"Mam your name please."

He never used to be so polite and humble to students.He was known for rude behaviour.But the new addmision changed him as well.This was the first thing that Mishthi managed to change with her looks.

She answered,"Mishthi,Sir"

Just as she answered,she heard another voice,"Mishthi,what sweet name,just as sweet".

After going through a series of questions about her schooling,her parents,her hobbies,her future plans....etc....etc,she took her sit again.

"Dont you guys have any other way of starting a conversation with a girl.Ofcourse I know that my name is sweet.For you guys every name is a sweet one.Isnt it.?"

Jatin was furious at this,no girl had ever talk to him like this may be because he never said such a thing to a girl.He replied in a strong voice,"Excuse me mam,I was honestly appreciating you and your parents.I wasnt trying to impress you or rather started any conversation."

This was a wierd reply.I mean who the hell would appreciate someone's parents for a nice name.

Mishthi replied in a stronger voice,"Ohh...really and what about the perfume....??"

Now Jatin was caught.He was acting as if he wasnt even impressed by her little bit but now it was time to be honest.But the ego of a guy stood between him and honesty.He replied this time a bit softly,"What perfume,I dont know any perfume."

Another stupid answer does any one get to know a perfume.He was being stupid and Mishthi was enjoying this,it was quite evident.

"Ofcourse you dont know it.Its not jasmine dumbo,its lavender."replied Mishthi with a wink of eyes.

Jatin had no answer.He blushed and smiled.He was enjoying the conversation.He was enjoying the fact that the most gorgeous girl of this class was sitting next to him and he could see many asses burning.He wasnt able to see Mishthi completely as she was sitting besides him but as she winked her eyes she saw her entire face.

She was the sweetest girl that he had ever came across.She had this unusuall blend of sweetness and charm.She was wearing a broad bangel in her left hand and a bracelet cum watch in the right. loose top and a mini skirt touchin her knees.She looked beautifull,her skin glowing and her charming black eyes.She was dressed in western style yet she was simple.

Mr.Jigyasi interrupted the conversation,"I am giving you five questions on bending moment.I want it done by tomorrow.Plus there will be an oral test tomorrow.This is for all of you,including new comers as well.He just looked at Mishthi and gave a cunning smile.I dont want any excuses.Those who failed to do so will rewrite each questions 50 times."

Mishthi looked sad and that somehow made Jatin sad as well.He didnt knew what was making him sad but the very fact that smile had vanish from Mishthi's face made him sad as well.

He said in a very caring and loving voice,"dont worry we will manage it" with a wink of eye.

*****

"I knew you were falling for me and so I made that sweet and innocent face.That was the first time I used you.I had done this with many other guys before as well.This wasnt new to me rather I was an expert in that, till this time.Its so easy for a girl to fool a guy and I was no saint."

*****

Love is a poison and it kills slowly.Reading the last few lines it surely started showing its effect on Jatin as he found it difficult to read.Those harsh and bitter words.But he had promised to himself that he wont give it up and so he continued reading.....

"sAy iT...wHeN u Love iT.."

Chapter-3 The Beginning of The End

This was painful.

This was the worst thing that could have happened to Jatin.

This was worse than Mishthi not replying him.

His Mishthi was fake.His only love was fake.She used him,others were right,she used him.

Jatin wasnt able to bear all this.Suddenly he was struggling to breathe.This wide spacious world seemed to be a small one for him.He wished he could change his past.He wished he could make changes in his college life.

He wished,he could make Mishthi pay for using him.He wished to die.He wished that he could change Mishthi's decision.Yes this was true love afterall.He still wanted her,he still wished that Mishthi could come back to him.

Love had always been a mystery.No matter how much you start hating your love,in the end it is love only that wins.

But this was the first time Jatin had tasted love and it was a bitter one.

Those moments kept on coming in front of his eyes.Mishthi's graceful smile,her lips,her hair,her pranks..etc.

He could not believe what happened.This was the first time he hoped to be interrupted by alarm but it wasn't meant to be.

This was real.

It was getting darker and darker.It was day time but looked as if it was night.The horrifying sound of lightning,clouds roaring.It was scary.All this added to Jatin's grief.He has grown strong over the past few years but not strong enought to bear the pain of Mishthi's words.He could still hear them clearly,

"I know what you feel for me.But I never loved you.I used you only to get good marks and now "I know what you feel for me.But I never loved you.I used you only to get good marks and now that college is over I want you to be away from me and my life.You were never a part of my life.I have a boy friend and you know that and we are very happy together so please Jatin take all this away and leave this place and my life as well."

His eyes were wet.Tears were kissing his cheeks.His heart had almost stopped beating.Even if it was,Jatin could hear it beating it was that slow and loud.

It had started raining heavily.One could not see the vehicles moving on the road.People had started looking for a shelter so that they can save themselves from this outburst of rain gods.

But to Jatin it did not matter.What had happen to him was much more painful than this "outburst".

Even those on cars had stopped moving.There was only one vehicle moving that was Jatin's Scorpio.He kept on driving at a speed of 90 plus,in the heavy rains and strong breeze.The world did not existed for him.

He started the music player just to make him feel good and it sang,

"In our headlights, staring, bleak, beer cans, deer's eyes
on the asphalt underneath, our crushed plans and my lies
lonely street signs, powerlines, they keep on flashing, flashing by

and we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
and we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye

your breath hot upon my cheeck, and we crossed, that line
you made me strong when I was feeling weak, and we crossed, that one time
screaming stop signs, staring wild eyes, keep on flashing, flashing by

and we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye
and we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye

the devil grins from ear to ear when he sees the hand he's dealt us
points at your flaming hair, and then we're playing hide and seek
I can't breathe easy here, less our trail's gone cold behind us
till' in the john mirror you stare at yourself grown old and weak

and we keep driving into the night
it's a late goodbye, such a late goodbye..."

I still dont understand how the "playilists" tend to guess your mood.

He wanted to divert his mind but this was not the case of mind.This was the case of "heart".

It was raining more heavily,as if even The Almighty was crying for his child.

Jatin opened a shelf in his car and took out a beer bottle (this was one of the way which he had found to forget Mishthi),opened it and drank the whole bottle in one go.Beers tend to taste sweet when you are sad and life tastes bitter.

Suddenly he saw the bag which Mishthi had given him.He stopped his car.Quickly got out and ran to the nearest coffee shop.Chose a corner table over there.The place was full of people but since he was ditched he could feel the loneliness.

He ordered a capuccino and opened the bag.

He saw the cards,the soft toys,the pictures..all that he had given her with love.He started taking them out one by one and started recalling the moment in which he gave her these gifts.

He never gifted her anything on occasions,for Jatin everyday spent with Mishthi was an ocassion in itself and so he gifted her everytime he met her.

But there was something in that bag that he had never gifted her.It was packet,brown coloured envelope,with nothing written on that,just a plane envelope.Jatin wondered what was it.May be it was by mistake that Mishthi had put it in this bag.He opened the seal on the envelope and in it were some papers.He thought may be they are some official papers or may be they were the letters which Jatin posted her everynow and then.

But these were not simple papers.He colud see something handwritten on them.It wasnt his writing though.He took out the whole bunch of papers and above which there was a slip which said

"these are my memories.Read them one by one

from-Mishthi"

He was shocked and amazed.

What could be in these papers.Mishthi's memories.????

"Am I a part of her memories,certainly not after what she said to me.

Should I read them....?

I should not.May be its Mishthi's personal asset.I should not read it.But then why would she give it to me.I think i should read them."

He knew he wont enjoy this but the love for Mishthi made him read those letters.He did not want to know Mishthi anymore.She was his past.But still he picked the first letter and began to read it.....