There are days..

its been one and a half year....and now i can really describe...the life of a balajian....right from the studies part...to emotional part...i'll try my best to cover all the aspects....

one comes....here alone..(mostly)....with hopes and dreams....with curiosity and eagerness....with determination and grit...

then...

there are days....when one feels was his decision right.....

there are days.....when "sbs" seems to be entire world for him.....

there are days....when world comes to a hault here in SBS for him...

there are days when he abuses....curses....every rule....every thing offered to him by this institute..

there are days...when he praises every little thing of this institute....

there are days....when he would spend sleepless nights trying to google facts and figures for his presentation next day...

there days....when he just spends the entire day sleeping on the desk....trying to google his dreams...

there are days....when there are friends around him...and he feels the luckiest to have such friends...

then come those days....where he finds himself stranded , alone....and trying to figure out what went wrong...

there are days....when a day goes with a blink of eyes....with smiles and laughter...

then there are also days....when a day never seem to past.....and all the smiles vanish away...

there are days....when reading economic times...seems so damn interesting...

there are days....when even a pink colored top..of a girl reminds of ET and one starts hating her...

there are days....when sitting in lectures seems so easy...when he wants to be in the class..

then comes those days...when even passing the time during lunch becomes difficult...

there are days....when he feels there is a family here...

there are days....when he misses the family away from here...

there are days....when he would forget everything....(even attendance) for his loved ones....

there are days....when every one would forget him too...

there are days...when he is surrounded by his friends....

there are days....when he surrounded by his true friend loneliness...

there are days....when the head of this family...seems to be his grandfather...

then there are days....when he seems to be his biggest enemy....

there are days...when he would forget everything for his dearest friends...and do anything to make them smile..and happy.

then there are days....when he would be forgotten by his dearest friends...and still they will be happy and smiling....

there are days...when SBS seems to be hell...

then there are days....where this seems to be a place of love and smiles....

there are days.......

At Times...!!

Writing after a long time and struggling with words..

at times i feel that i have lost something which i possessed and was totally mine...

at times i feel loosing that and gaining something is not that bad either...

at times i feel that the kunal i was , was a mask....

at times i feel there is a need to wear a mask now...

with placements season already started...

at times i feel it is time for joy and share happiness of others..

at times i feel it is time for deep inspection....

at times i feel it is so beautiful to taste the tears of joy...

at times i feel it might also bring the tears from a broken heart...

at times i feel that will the history repeat itself...and the horrors of the past follow me..

at times i feel that will there be a new page added to my book....

with many getting placed....and seeing atleast 5 daily facebook updates...

at times i feel it is time to pack the bags as i stand very less chance...

at times i feel..it is time to unpack some of the abilities and show what i am made of...

at times i feel that are my actions justified....

at times i feel yes they are....

with people throwing so many questions and allegations on me and my character...

at times i feel that m i really that bad...

at times i feel who the hell are they to decide that....

at times i feel why should i answer every question that is fired at me...

at times i feel why should reply back to the fingers pointed at me....

at times i feel i should let everyone know what the truth is....

at times i feel it is time to prove that i am not selfish...

with things happening at such an ugly pace...

at times i feel where did the time run away....

at times i feel why cant i run away...

at times i feel why the clock is moving so slowly...

at times i feel i just can be lonely...

at times i feel that my biggest strength were words...

at times i feel my strength only is my biggest weakness....

at times i feel...words with whom i was so good in playing...

at times those same words have turned out to be playing with me....

at times i feel this is just a "time" a "phase" that will pass away..

at times..i feel success is on my way....

at times that "way" seems to be too long...

at times i feel so bloody "down"....

it is just at times i feel so....

it is just at times...i feel so low....